The Parade!

The Parade of phone calls, kisses,birthday wishes and gifts, started on Friday evening and continued until Sunday night.

Every single gift and wish was so appreciated, but as the parade of gifts kept coming I found myself thinking, "What did I do to deserve such a life, such family, such love."

I think about my career as a mom, and I think of all the arguments, and the short fuses, the bad temper, the scoldings. I think about how many times I have looked at one of my eight children and chastised them only to get a true look of humility, and remorse, and a certain sadness at having dissapointed me.

My family is truly great! Love is what has been parading through my home and life in the last three days. I feel like a very undeserving recipient of all the glory that these children have written when signing the birthday cards, I can't help but feel I have let them down somehow, when I read all of their little musings about my skills as a mother.

It is really overwhelming to think with all of my mistakes and all of the trouble that my kids have to put up with  because of how long it takes to really learn how to parent,(and I am still learning) they still dig down deep, and come up with something nice to say.

A true testimony of how great they each individually really are. Kind hearted loving little, big, growing, changing, human beings. How fabulous, I will cherish the fact that a birthday of mine brings out the greatness and creativity of my flock, my family.

I wake up every morning praying to be a better mom than I was yesterday. I hope in some way here and there it makes a difference, because in-spite of, not because of, my mothering skills I have eight children I am very proud of, and who I know will be able to achieve all that I have not been able to thus far.