Missed it again. What you ask? The present of course!

How often I get so wrapped up in things that I forget what day it is even. Seasons pass, holidays, birthdays, bill payments, and pay cheques. All of these things come and go, I will anticipate and pine for holidays and even a season to come; just as we are starting one I want to be in the next. How many of us in the dead of winter, are waiting for springs first kisses, and get excited to see buds on the trees; how many of us in the heat of summer are anxiously waiting for that first leaf to turn and the first snow to fall. Here we are just out of the Christmas season. I am planning my Lent and Easter. Lent does not start for another 29 days. For some reason I love to dream about the next holiday or event, I will plan it all out in my head then on paper, then with list after list until I think I have it perfect. I enjoy it so very much. What I don't understand about how my head works, is why I don't take time to enjoy the now?  Why am I always running off to the future, when there is so much here and now, to dive into the moment instead of chasing after what hasn't happened. I think its because our expectations and fantasies are always much more than our reality, on a grand scale. I don't mean this in a bad way, for instance, when I am sitting at a holiday table looking out at my whole family, I think of ideas for the next holiday, it's not that this one was bad, more so that it is such a wonderful feeling that I want to make the next one so much better. I guess it would be smarter and more prudent, instead of always trying to improve, to take a moment and burn it into my head. Inhale it, savor it. The moments pass far too quickly, and it is almost painful to look back at memories I do have, and realize that it will never come back. I think that is almost as much of a reason for planning before something is over, and moving on to the next thing on the planning agenda as anything else. Anticipation for moments, the build up of excitement and joy. It seems like I am stretching them out. Once the moment is there you know you are going to experience it and then it is gone before you are able to comprehend it even was. I guess the passion of planning arranging and fixing, is really an attempt at altering time and keeping the present from becoming the past. 


"There is no measuring how quickly things turn into the past,becoming simply a memory." Stephanie Macleod  


P.S.
Wooohooo, have not skipped a day yet!